Category Archives: Random
See what things other people accomplished when they were your age here.
At age 23:
John Singleton directed his first film, “Boyz ‘N the Hood.”
T. S. Eliot wrote “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”
John Keats wrote “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” which ends with the lines, “‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty,’ – that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. “
English poet Jane Taylor wrote “Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”
Margaret Mead traveled to the South Seas as part of a “giant rescue operation” to study primative cultures before they perished.
Russian-American pianist Vladimir Horowitz made a spectacular concert debut when, impatient with the conductor’s slow pace, he ran away from the conductor’s tempo and finished Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1 several bars ahead of time.
Novelist, playwright, and short-story writer Carson McCullers wrote her acclaimed first book, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter.
Truman Capote published his first novel, Other Voices, Other Rooms.
Orson Welles produced and performed his “War of the Worlds” radio broadcast, terrifying millions of people. He also got his face on the cover of Time Magazine.
Jack Nicklaus became the youngest golfer to win the Masters.
Francois-Louis Cailler manufactured the world’s first eating chocolate to be commercially produced.
By age 23 Marieanne McKeown survived cancer, raised £5,000 for Sri Lankan orphans and spent five weeks taking care of them in Sri Lanka.
Louise Prochilo moved out of her mother’s house for the first time.
Jamaican-born Barrington Irving became the youngest person to fly around the world solo. He had constructed the plane from over $300,000 in donated parts.
George Nospam sold his first magazine article for publication. It was about ‘Roadside Urine Bombs’ (which his editor chose from a list of 30 possible topics he suggested).
I came across this article the other day and it really got my mind working. I hate to say it, but I’m definitely a combination of most (if not all) of these.
Goal: Work on my thinking/perception habits.
15 Styles of Distorted Thinking
- Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.
- Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you’re a failure.
- Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. ‘Always’ and ‘never’ are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.
- Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don’t watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.
- Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s.” What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.
- Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment’s relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.
- Control Fallacies: There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don’t believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).
- Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what’s fair, but other people won’t agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.
- Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.
- Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.
- Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.
- Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.
- Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.
- Being Right: You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be ‘right’ often makes you hard of hearing. You aren’t interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.
- Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You feel bitter when the reward doesn’t come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the ‘right thing,’ if your heart really isn’t in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.
*From Thoughts & Feelings by McKay, Davis, & Fanning. New Harbinger, 1981. These styles of thinking (or cognitive distortions) were gleaned from the work of several authors, including Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, and David Burns, among others.
I remember as a little girl growing up in my small hometown in Indiana. My friends and I would frolick around outside until we exhausted ourselves and were finally called to dinner. After dinner, I would go up into my room and pull toys, clothes, shoes, and other do-dads out of my closet. I would then sit indian-style inside my closet, the clothes on hangers slightly brushing the top of my head, with my doll Lela. After sitting there for a few moments, I would crawl into bed and hide under the covers. I believe as human beings, this is a natural feeling to yearn for. The feeling of a safe haven.
As we get older, it may seem unreasonable and childlike to yearn for that feeling of safety, that feeling where nothing and no one can hurt you. I don’t find this silly, I actually find it quite comforting. We have countless more emotions (some that we understand and some that we don’t) as we get older that without a place of safety, where do you go to experience them all? It feels unnatural to free these feelings in the open.
I have found that the one place I feel most comfortable is soaked up in a bubble bath. It’s a time where I can shut the shower curtain, light some candles, and just relax with my thoughts and feelings. The scent of lavender is incredibly soothing, and once you throw some Stacy Clark on, the result is one of pure bliss. It’s the perfect time to get away from your phone, laptop, TV, and the never-ending hustle & bustle that somehow takes over our lives. We all need a moment or two to relax.
After all, we are only human. We can’t be perfect and have it completely together all the time. It’s okay to have imperfections. And what better way to let out these imperfections in a place of safety and comfort? Learn to love your safe haven. You’ll soon discover that it loves you right back.
Routine. We all have one.
I hastily turn off my alarm clock at 5am, hit the gym, hop in the shower, and start my daily mantra before work, “Today will be a good day.”
I grab a shake from the refrigerator, turn on a single light for Lacy, and lock the door, triple checking to make sure it is indeed locked. OCD much?
I believe I have a routine for every activity I engage in. I also believe I’m not the only one. As comforting as routines make our lives, how do we know when we need a change? Do routines limit us from trying new things and exploring our adventurous side?
I can understand both answers “yes” and “no” when it comes to this question. On the one hand, routines may seem limiting. We get so caught up in our day-to-day doings that we sometimes forget how much more is out there. It is entirely possible to lose that sense of being adventurous and carefree.
On the other hand, routines have the ability to open up new possibilities. Maybe an activity in your normal routine can lead to what may seem like an insignificant moment, when really it is one to get your mind revved up and your carefree spirit rolling. For instance, if you enjoy running (as I so do) and the weather is beautiful, you may decide to run outside. This small change allows your routine to continue uninterrupted, just with an adventurous kick.
So the next time you feel bored or like you’ve fallen into a rut, pick yourself up and try something new. The least you can do for yourself is explore what life has to offer. In the end, what do you really have to lose?
Well, hello there. It’s only been what, two months since my last post? I must apologize for this. Although I knew being in the working world was tiresome, I didn’t know that it would take away my urge to write.
Wait a second. Can I really attribute my lack of wanting to write because of work? Absolutely not. I realized today that the reason I haven’t been writing is because I have been fully and completely out of my element. (Not to mention I have a hard time sitting at my desk because it’s a cheap little thing from IKEA with a plastic chair. So not ideal and so not comfortable). Hence, the first thing on my to-do list this week: buy a new desk and chair.
I was just home for the holidays & had quite a lovely time. My family’s Thanksgiving was amazing, with incredible food and even more incredible company. I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday to come home to… well, except for Christmas. Best holiday ever.
As I was sitting in Sky Harbor waiting for my flight back to Texas, I suddenly had the urge to write. Of course I didn’t have my laptop with me, which always happens when I finally feel the need to relieve stress and put everything on paper (or computer, in this case). Instead, I ended up jotting down some ideas for this blog.
Because I feel as though I documented my journey from college to the professional world in exquisite detail, I have found it difficult to keep writing about something that has already passed in my life. I hope that my journey through my entries inspired some (hopefully most) to get their lives on track and keep the faith. There’s a job out there for you- you just have to believe it.
I guess this blog will now lean towards issues that pertain to my life, which eventually could be issues you face as well. I’m excited for what’s to come and I hope you are too!
Work. What a horrible word. The look of it is dreadful and the sound of it is even worse. I’m sure you can sense that my mood today is a little less optimistic than previous posts. There isn’t any particular reason for this, except for the fact that I worked really hard this morning and made little money in return. This is why salaries are the way to go, people.
Although the job search is on for many of us and will continue to be for awhile, there comes a point where everyone needs to take a mini-break. A colleague and friend of mine sent this over my way and I found it quite intriguing. Not to mention it supports a great cause. Read on!
“Salute to Summer’s Best 60 Second Cocktail Program”
BACARDI, USA has committed to donate $75,000 to the USO at the onset of summer, with consumers (21+) able to increase the total donation amount to a maximum of $100,000 through their participation in the program via the “60 Second Cocktails” Facebook fan page. Each time a new fan of the program joins the “60 Second Cocktails BACARDI, USA will increase its donation to the USO by $1. The fan page will host an online copy of the program recipe book, additional recipe information, and interactive mixology videos, all of which you are free to use on your site.
It only takes 60 seconds to make a cocktail, 10 minutes to pair it with a gourmet meal and only 1 second to gain access to it all! Become a fan of the “Salute to Summer’s Best 60 Second Cocktail” page at http://www.facebook.com/#!/60SecondCocktails.
Here are just a few of the Salute to Summer’s Best 60 Second Cocktails Recipes:
BACARDI® Hand-Shaken Daiquiri
3 parts BACARDI Superior Rum
1 part lime juice
1 part simple syrup
(or 2 Tbsp. Sugar)
Directions: In a shaker with ice, combine ingredients. Shake and pour into rocks glass with ice.
GREY GOOSE® Fresh Berry Lemonade
1 ½ parts GREY GOOSE Vodka
1 tsp. sugar
Directions: In the bottom of a cocktail shaker, muddle raspberries with sugar. Pour into a tall glass over ice. Top with GREY GOOSE vodka and lemonade. Present with raspberries and a lemon.
3 parts Tequila CAZADORES Reposado
2 parts premium triple sec
1 part fresh lime juice
Serve blended with or over ice. Garnish with a lime wedge.
BACARDI® LIMÓN™ & Iced Tea
1 part BACARDI LIMÓN Flavored Rum
3 parts iced tea
Pour over ice and garnish with a lemon wedge.
Become a fan at http://www.facebook.com/#!/60SecondCocktails, make some treats for yourself and your friends, and help support a great cause!
The “Salute to Summer’s Best 60 Second Cocktails” program launches on Memorial Day, and will run through Labor Day 2010.
Photo Credit: http://s1.hubimg.com/u/335216_f520.jpg
About a week ago, I was approached by a website with a fabulous opportunity. It’s clear how much I love to write, so it only makes sense I be approached with the idea of writing about what I love. Hence, I am now a Scottsdale Fashion Trends Examiner. I will continue to write for this blog as well as for the Examiner website. So, if you’d like my take on fashion, style, and trends, feel free to visit my page at: http://www.examiner.com/x-56930-Scottsdale-Fashion-Trends-Examiner.
Only 3 articles posted thus far, but expect many more soon to come.