Category Archives: Passion

As the Bhagavad Gita once said,  “Yoga is difficult for the one whose mind is not subdued”.

This could not be more true. As stated in previous posts, I had started to feel complacent, yet simultaneously felt anxious because things had come to a standstill. Non-moving. Static.

I am easily able to multitask and focus on numerous things at one time. I’ve come to find that the problem with this is that I am never absolutely focused on one single task. They float around in my head and I focus on one, move to another, shuffle back to the previous one, and jump to the third. While this helps me get things done at an incredibly fast pace, it’s completely and utterly exhausting. I end my days feeling tired, grouchy, and restless- restless because I haven’t given my mind the opportunity to be still. To be silent.

I have finally discovered how to rid my restlessness and feel calm again- through bikram yoga. I’ve taken a few 90 minute sessions, and I can honestly say it gets better each go-around. Yesterday I arrived at YogaOne studio earlier than usual. I unrolled my yoga mat and laid in shavasana. I laid there for about 15 minutes before class began. I felt my body temperature rise, matching the temperature in the room, and found that my breathing had become long and deep.

About 30 minutes in, I was sweating more than I ever had in my life. Every square inch, every follicle of my body was covered with beads of sweat. I could feel these beads running from my hairline, along the side of my face, to my jawline and finally dropping all the way to the floor. Usually this would gross me out and I would towel off immediately. But not this time… something was holding me back.

I could finally feel every feeling in my body. I could feel the tingling in my toes, the looseness of my calves, the strength in my back, the struggle in my arms, and the heat radiating from my neck. I was able to focus on one single thing -how I felt. It didn’t matter that I was dripping with sweat. It didn’t matter that my hair was matted and stuck to my neck and side of my face. It didn’t matter that my eyes were dry and warm. All that mattered at that point in time was feeling, and I felt everything.

We finally moved into Lord of the Dance, a section many find difficult. I was amazed at my focus and strength throughout this exercise because I was able to complete it fully, which I can honestly say I have not done before. I felt all inner stress melt away, and I was able to close my eyes and maintain my balance. Powerful. Unimaginable. Serene.

My body, mind, and soul finally feel as though they are one.

Never conflicting.

Never disconnected.

Always moving together.

Always facing forward.

Ever searching.

Everlasting. Always.

My best friend sparked a wonderful idea one evening over Skype. This week (and future weeks) will be about stepping out of my comfort zone.  (I owe you a lot, Ry. Thank you)

First, a little bit of background. I recently found myself becoming complacent. Every day was the same. Wake up. Go to work. Drive home from work. Cook dinner. Watch TV. Go to bed. Repeat. I knew something needed to change. I never used to be this way. I was the girl who always had something to do, whether it was a sorority event, a dinner, a night out with friends, or an extracurricular activity. Work can drain so much energy and time from our day, causing us to forget to do the things we actually enjoy. Hell, I didn’t even feel like running. And we all know how much I love to run. Clearly, something was wrong.

I started this week off going to the gym after work. I actually ended up running 3 miles each session, so it was easy to transition back into. In my heart though, I knew this wasn’t enough.

My best friend challenged me to do something I had always wanted to do since I moved to Houston, but never found the time or energy for: Pinot’s Palette. Pinot’s Palette is an art studio where you can sign up for a class (for only $35-$45), bring your own bottle of wine or two, and paint a picture with guidance from wonderful artists. I signed up immediately for the next day’s session.

Pinot’s Palette was amazing. It was everything I had hoped for and more. I’ve always thought of myself as having absolutely no artistic ability. I went into the class with an open mind, which is hard to do after a long day of work. But as soon as I started painting, I found myself completely relaxed and focused. For once in my life, I was actually able to focus on one thing, and one thing only: the smooth strokes of paint gliding across my canvas. A wave of emotions washed over me from relaxed and relieved to giddy and proud. When the class ended, my jaw dropped. I looked at this piece of art in front of me and realized… I created this. I felt so proud and accomplished that I promised myself I would sign up for a class at least once a month.

The next day I went to work, still floating on clouds from my painting rendezvous the day before. I suddenly remembered I had purchased a Groupon awhile ago for 10 sessions of bikram yoga. I hastily pulled the Groupon out of my planner and checked for an expiration date. March 26, 2012. Perfect. I had over a month to use it.

I bopped over to yogaOne studio after work that day and completed my first 90 minute bikram yoga session. Yes, it was tough. Yes, I had buckets of sweat pouring out of me. And yes, I was completely and utterly exhausted. My legs and arms were shaking and fatigued. My contacts were dry and stuck to my eyes. My breath was shallow and my skin was covered in thick, sticky sweat. But I felt so healthy, powerful, and focused within my mind and soul, that it didn’t matter. I had found the old Kristen, and that was worth everything I had just put myself through.

I know it may be frightening to step out of your comfort zone. Maybe there is a fear of doing something alone, or an uncertainty of what lies ahead. Maybe you don’t know what kinds of things you want to experience or even where to start. All I can say is once you begin, it’s impossible not to continue. And that’s the best part.